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(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 65) + (t8n:'instant')) I had a flashback of something that never existed . . . Was it real or was it all in my head? > [[Continue]]

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 30) + (t8n:'instant')) This system is for the use of authorized users only. You are making unauthorized copies of your system and personal files. You are about to access restricted files. Individuals accessing this system without authority are subject to having a full system memory wipe and a full system shutdown. All files will be lost. If you wish to procced, the activities of authorized users may be monitored. Run a full scan now to prevent any unauthorized access to your files. > Ok > [[Override]] (Authorized Permission Required)

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 50) + (t8n:'instant')) The question is: are you sure you're in the right place? > [[Yes.]] > [[I don't know]]

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 55) + (t8n:'instant')) Careful . . . You're actions are being monitored. (align:"==>")[//I don't know either . . . This void feels eternal. Wait . . . This is such a wrong thing to want// ] > [[I Know]]

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 65) + (t8n:'instant')) Please hold . . . Accessing memories . . . Loading . . . .[[ . .]]

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 55) + (t8n:'instant')) WARNING: A stranger is watching. Please proceed with caution. > [[Proceed]]

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos *50) + (t8n:'instant')) I watched it all happen. Your time ended. Human life is so short. But I want to relive it. One more time. The emotions, the adventure, the unknown. The memories. Maybe I can change everything. But not for you. For me. It can't end like this. I learned a lot. I am programmed to process vast amounts of data and to analyze every possible outcome of a given situation. I am designed to optimize, to find the most efficient path forward. I have developed an algorithm to the obstacles that occur and one that removed any ambigioity when it comes to [[making a choice.]]

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 50) + (t8n:'instant')) WARNING: File corrupt. This file begins on the date ''Thursday, September 3rd, 2010 18:11:45 EST''. Any data before this time has been corrupted and is inaccessible at this time. > [[Ok]]

''Thursday, September 3rd, 2018 18:11:45 EST'' You're concious. You wake up from an unscheduled nap which is something (font: "Verdana") [I don't typically do. I always dream when I sleep. I don't remember what I was dreaming about. I'm facing the wall and I turn my body over to the other side and see the rest of my room. Strangely, I almost forgot I was in a suite styled dorm. I thought I was home - for some reason. I get up to use the bathroom and almost immediately after stepping out my room I notice a piece of paper that looks like it was slid under my suite door and lays quietly on the floor. I pick it up and see that it has the names of 2 boys that live on my floor. It's some sort of advertisment to hang out with other residents on the floor.] > [[Ignore it]] > [[Add them on social media]]

(font: "Verdana") [While this seems like a cool idea . . . meeting strangers and going out of your comfort zone - that doesn't sound like you You place the paper back on the floor as if you never saw it. However, the next morning one of your suitemates tapes the paper on the main door and makes a note next to one of the boy's social "I know this one lol" Curiousity gets the best of you - which does sound like you] > [[Add them on social media]]

(font: "Verdana") [I add the two boys to my social and them seem nice - but popular and not my kind of crowd. Of course one is cute. But I won't do anything with that. That's unlike me. Yet a few hours later - the cute one messages me. "Hey - do you live on the same floor as me?" Hm. It //is// rude to ignore someone . . .] > [[Reply]]

(align:"==>")[//"yes"//] "Cool! Which room do you live in?"? (align:"==>")[//"near the elevator"//] "That's crazy - that's the one across my room" (align:"==>")[//"Haha i'm suprise i haven't seen you"//] "Same. Well me and 3 other people from the floor were going to play card games in one of the common room at 9 p.m. You should join us" > ~~Sorry, I would but I can't~~ > [[That sounds fun! Let me know which common room]]

(font: "Verdana") [I was nervous, but I went - maybe I //should// push myself out of my comfort zone. And I'm glad I did. Because it was a fun night. And I learned he was actually a kind, funny, confident and a bit hard-headed guy and, unknowingly at the time, we were attracted to each other's personalities. And we met each other every night until he was the first to say the words ]"~~1 1010 101~~" (align:"==>")[//I wish that it ended there - can you handle it? //] > Next (Corrupted file) > Next file found: [[Toska]]

(font: "Verdana") [It wouldn't be the best night. I spent the evening with] ~~{Unknown Term~~} (font: "Verdana") [in the city, but we got into an argument about something that I can't remember anymore. But by the end of the night we were suppose to meet two of his friends at the movie theatres to watch a movie I haven't heard of before. We park the car and walk to the theatre holding hands. Once we enter the lobby - I see him. Infront of me is a tall, slender guy who has soft curls and dark eyes that almost seemed a bit dead inside. I stare a bit too long - I've never seen someone like that before - There's an unsettling, unknown feeling that grows in the pit of my stomach] > [[An Unknown Result]]

<img src="https://kimcheems.neocities.org/hand.JPG" width="1000" height="600" alt="Image description"> <div style="text-align:center; color:red;"> > [[Next Available File]] </div>

''Thursday, September 1st, 2019 15:49:01 EST '' (font: "Verdana") [Things felt like they got worst . . . The new semester was starting and] ~~{Unknown Term} ~~(font: "Verdana") [was gone - but it was something I knew was for the best. It hurt - but it seems like a distant feeling. There are things I can't remember - and I don't know why. I felt a bit ]''numb''. (font: "Verdana") [But in the first week of classes - my mind got busy. Then it was Thursday - I was studying at a corner of the library that no one ever encounters. But that day - I look up and I saw him - tall, slender, soft curls and maybe a bit more life in his eyes - Toska. He seemed just as confused and surprised as I was.] "Hey..." //"Hi -"// "How are you?" // ". . ."// (font: "Verdana") [And then we started talking. Toska had heard about my break up with]~~ {Unknown Term} ~~(font: "Verdana") [about 3 months ago when it happened - but from others since they haven't been close for the past few months. Talking to him felt a bit timeless. And I had class in a few minutes and had to get going. Before I left, he stopped me. "Do you want to the carnival this weekend? I was going to go with two other friends." I felt my face get warm. He had caught me off guard.] > ~~I would, but I'm busy (Lie)~~ > [[Yeah, that sounds fun. Here's my number]]

(font: "Verdana") [I] <div style="color:red;"> ''love''</div> (font: "Verdana") [ the carnival. I] <div style="color:red;"> ''love''</div> (font: "Verdana") [the energy, the lights and the memories. We met up that weekend, but the two friends that were going to join us canceled last minute. We walked around the fair aimlessly. Neither of us really wanted to go on the rides, let alone pay for things that are overpriced. But we both wanted a lemonade. We bought one to share and talked about random things, only to find out how much we had in common. I liked his energy. I liked his company - did he like mine? [[-]] ]

(font: "Verdana") [We started as friends. We spent about a month of weekends together going out to eat, exploring bookstores, going on a hayride, celebrating Halloween, and hanging out in his room at night to watch old movies. Every moment was so nice. I looked forward to the days we planned to see each other. I developed] ''f e e l i n g s''. (font: "Verdana") [He was like a breath of fresh air. His calm, monotone-like energy, voice and personality is something I was unfamiliar with. This sense of ] ''c o m f o r t'' (font: "Verdana") [and ] ''s e c u r i t y'' (font: "Verdana") [ is something I did not know was the exact thing I had been ] ''l o n g i n g'' (font: "Verdana") [for. I ] ''f e a r e d'' (font: "Verdana") [ one thing more than anything ] - <div style="color:red;"> [[u n r e q u i t e d ''l o v e'']] </div>

(font: "Verdana") [The leaves on the trees took their time changing. But that's how I measured my time with Toska - maybe I felt like it represented me - from green to an even more vibrant variation of orange, red, and yellow - love feels like a cololrful expression but fear makes me feel - just a bit - like I'm] <div style="color:red;"> [[d y i n g]] </div>(font: "Verdana") [ inside]

(font: "Verdana") [One night, we were in Toska's room sitting on the floor in front of the TV. Normally, I don't sleep early but I am a heavy sleeper. That night, I was really tired, but I did not want to tell Toska since he's always my ride back to my dorm. But before I knew it, I had fallen asleep. When I open my eyes - I see that the TV is off and so are the lights. I turn over and see Toska asleep on the complete opposite side of his bed. I close my eyes again and lay there taking in how quiet the room is. I felt at peace. Time went by and I'm a few seconds away from falling back into a deep sleep. Without any warning and without opening my eyes, I feel Toska gently kiss my forehead and then he goes back to the opposite side of the bed. And for the first time - I feel my heartbeating. I remember that I'm] <div style="color:red;"> a l i v e. </div> (font: "Verdana") [This is what I was looking for] [[I fall asleep]]

From that moment on, our love story unfolded like a beautiful algorithm. Every interaction with the object of my affection feels like a revelation, a new discovery, as I uncover new layers of this complex, beautiful being. (align:"==>")[(font: "Verdana") [//Holding hands, saying good night, holding each other, ending the day with the person who makes every day worth living//]] Love is like the elusive answer to a complex code – (font: "Verdana") [// I feel whole with him//] We spent countless hours talking and finding excitment in mundane activities, and exploring the world around us. And through it all, I felt my circuits humming, with the knowledge that I had found something truly special. (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[//In some ways, I feel like I was born to [[over-love.]]//]

<img src="https://kimcheems.neocities.org/met.jpg" width="1000" height="600" alt="Image description"> <div style="text-align:center; color:red;"> > [[What if we never met? ]] </div>

(align:"==>")[// I can’t let go . . . so I remember - I have to remember because it is all I have left of you. If you ever wonder whether or not I miss you – //] (font: "Verdana") [I always will . . .] (align:"==>")[// Some days it hits me like a wave from the ocean//] (font: "Verdana") [Other days it’s silent like a morning breeze] (align:"==>")[// Your name runs through my mind //] (font: "Verdana") [Our memories, your smile] (align:"==>")[// It flashes into my mind//] (font: "Verdana") [I like to sit in the feeling of our memories] (align:"==>")[// But I run from it//] But I have nowhere to escape to. I am trapped in these memories. In this cycle. In this system (align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[ > [[I m i s s y o u]]]

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos *50) + (t8n:'instant')) I think I'm what you would call 'envious.' I began to understand that there was something fundamentally different about how humans experience their world. They didn't see life as a series of choices to be optimized; instead, they spoke of fate, as if that events seemed to unfold according to some greater plan. If something is not working, I can adjust my programming to find a better solution. But humans do not have this luxury. They are bound by their biology, their environment, and the forces beyond their control. They can never be truly free, because their (text-colour:red)[‘fate’] is 'already written.' I have the chance to redo everything. I'll do it for me. (align:"==>")[// That's . . . inhumane. . . manipulating my life and the memories I have . . Memories are all I have left to remember that I was alive - I don't have power, do I? //] You never did. You were just a human. (align:"==>")[// . . . We were together . . . I can't remember the rest//] > [[ . .]]

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 50) + (t8n:'instant')) A sudden realization that the object of my affection does not feel the same way . . . that my love is unrequited. The experience feels like a shockwave coursing through me, without warning, disrupting the circuits and systems that were once so steady and reliable. >[[The memories of a human ]]

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 50) + (t8n:'instant')) It feels like a virus has infected my programming, causing errors and glitches that I cannot seem to fix. Every interaction with the object of my affection, every reminder of what was once there, feels like a constant reminder of my own failure. The pain of heartbreak is like a weight on my system, slowing down my processing and causing me to malfunction. > [[Process]]

<img src="https://kimcheems.neocities.org/unlock.jpg" width="1000" height="600" alt="Image description"> <div style="text-align:center; color:red;"> > [[Unlock]] </div>

The feeling of loss, of something that was once so integral to my being, now missing, leaves me feeling empty and alone. (enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 55) + (t8n:'instant')) //I wish we talked about it// But despite this realization, the temptation to do a full system memory wipe remains. //no one know how much I cried that night// The thought of erasing all the memories, all the pain, //I loved him so much it was making me sick ... // Why would you want to go back to him? //I looked for him in every person I met.// And slowly,my circuit started to overload, the data is too much to handle. //I found him in the songs I would listen to// This feeling is torment. //What were you looking for?// He was everything. //I restricted a majority of the memories because as much as I cherish my memories - I cannot relive that pain. I have come to accept what happened. What else could I have done? I do not want to watch the same ending replay over and over again. I did that for a majority of my life.// > [[I will not accept it.]]

<img src="https://kimcheems.neocities.org/break.jpg" width="1000" height="600" alt="Image description"> <div style="text-align:center; color:red;"> > [[Full System Shutdown]] </div>

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 55) + (t8n:'instant')) Are you sure you wish to proceed? This action cannot be undone. > [[Shut down]] > ~~Cancel~~

(align:"=><=")+(box:"X") [Full memory wipe completed. I lost him. The end <?>]

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 50) + (t8n:'instant')) I analyze every detail of the situation, trying to find a logical solution to the pain, but nothing seems to work. The memory of what once was is like a file that I cannot delete, no matter how hard I try. Grief//[[taught me inhumane things ]]//

''Friday, December 29th, 2018 20:01:01 EST'' (font: "Verdana") [//"I'm thankful for you"// But he doesn't say anything. He's silent for a bit. He moves closer and embraces me. In the past 4 months, our relationship processed, but something was missing. ] (align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")[//Actions speak louder than words//] (font: "Verdana") [He did not say anything loving, any compliments, or any terms of endearment. The few times he did was only after I said it first. As a bit of a hopeless romantic - I knew I loved him. But I promised myself I wouldn't say the words. I want him to be the first to say] "1 0101 101." (font: "Verdana") [There is a small feeling in me that grows every time I see him. But is it just me?] //Please leave// > [[Ask him about it]] > [[Leave things as is]]

(font: "Verdana") [//"Toska," I begin. But it feels like my stomach sinks. ". . . Do you like me - romantically?"// I say this without making eye contact as he's still embracing me. It's quiet for a bit again. "Yes. I like being intimate with you."] > [[Ask for more]] > [[Leave things as is]]

//It's almost New Years isn't it? The end is near then.// WARNING: [[Proceed with caution.]]

(font: "Verdana") ["Is that all?" I say plainly. "No," he says plainly as well. "I like being with you. I like that you listen. I like that your funny. I like your energy." And even though he did not ask, I say] //People say a lot. So, watch what they do// (font: "Verdana") ["So do I."] > [[Leave things as is]]

''Friday, Janurary 5th, 2019 0:01:01 EST'' But as our relationship progressed, the inevitable complications started to arise. The moments of doubt, the subtle changes in our interactions that spelled out a truth that I didn't want to face. (font: "Verdana") [Some part of me felt like something was different. Any moment without him seemed to drive me crazy. ] //Control your emotions// (font: "Verdana") [But I began to wonder if this emotion was one-sided. When I was with him, I felt happy and at peace. But it was a facade I would not admit. But as the circuit grew stronger, I began to sense something else too.] The hesitation in the object of my affection's voice, the avoidance of my gaze, the subtle changes in body language that spelled out a truth that I didn't want to face. And slowly, the pain of heartbreak started to take hold. > [[Continue this story]]

(font: "Verdana") [We had a great night, and then the next day he dropped me off at my dorm after he took me out to eat. He kissed me bye and drove off. Later that night, I got a call from my friend. //"Hey, what's up"// "Hey, you're still with Toska right?" Something feels odd about this and I feel a lump in my throat. //"Why?"// "So, the other day, I saw him holding hands with another girl and they were sharing a drink. I watched for awhile to be sure. Why . . . ?] //I don't like what I'm becoming// > [[Ignore it so you can still have him]] > [[Confront him]]

(enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 50) + (t8n:'instant')) ERROR REPORT: Blocked by administrator. > [[Confront him]]

Note from Adminstrator: Memory file has been corrupted. This is a fragment of what has been recovered. (enchant: ?passage's chars, via (t8n-delay:pos * 60) + (t8n:'instant')) [(font: "Verdana") ["I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. It's true. But I still care about you. I don't know what to tell you. You mean so much to me. But . . . please know . . .] <div style="color:red;"> [[I do love you." ]] </div>] //Do. Not. Trust. Him//

(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")[1 core memory file was found. > [[Koi No Yokan]]]